I’m embarrassed to admit that although I live within walking distance of The Bony Pony, and have driven past its storefront on Old Highway 99 many more times than I could possibly count (often on my way to or from Meyer Sign & Advertising just down the road a piece), I labored for years — or at least a good many months — under the mistaken impression that it was a tavern. I take some comfort in knowing that I’m not alone in this misconception. Then again, I’m also not a cowboy. 

I mean, there’s the name itself (which could also be a dance craze from the ‘60s) and, of course, there’s the wooden facade, which would fit in comfortably on the set of “Gunsmoke.”  So imagine my surprise when my sister-in-law, a horse person from Idaho, announced during a visit last year that she was going to The Bony Pony to shop for “western tack.”

“Why would you go to a cowboy bar for kitschy souvenirs?,” I asked her. “We’ve got lots of tacky stuff that we’ve collected over the years, and you’re more than welcome to it.” She looked at me with incredulous sympathy. “You really are a city boy, aren’t you!” she exclaimed.

Which was how I learned that if you want to do some boot scooting, The Bony Pony isn’t your venue. If, however, you want to purchase the boots to scoot in, you need to visit the retailer that describes itself as “The Complete Store for Horse & Rider.” 

To get a sense of just how much stuff falls into the categories of “western wear, saddles, tack, and more,” The Bony Pony’s website provides an eye popping overview, which it summarizes as follows:

We have in stock English and Western apparel, saddles, tack and gifts, as well as home, décor, blankets, footwear and general horse supplies, and lots more. We stock all the best brands including Circle Y, Ariat, Justin, Back on Track, Wrangler, Weaver, Weatherbeeta, Stubben, Myler and much more!  We are proud to offer quality products at a fair price.

Step inside The Bony Pony and you’ll find precious little real estate for line dancing, although the store’s soundtrack plays both kinds of music: country AND western. Its square footage is deceptive, however, thanks to the depth of its retail footprint. Nevertheless, it’s pretty obvious that The Bony Pony’s inventory, which its website recommends to anyone “looking to outfit your horse, yourself, or your farm,” has pretty much filled every available nook and cranny. If you’re used to traversing the wide open spaces on your trusty palomino whilst humming “Don’t Fence Me In,” The Bony Pony might even seem a bit claustrophobic. 

Which is probably why the store is expanding. Right next door to its current location, those frequenting Old Highway 99 may have noticed a large commercial-looking building under construction. Recently, a colorful new LED sign was installed by Meyer Sign & Advertising (thank you, Watchfire!) revealing the building’s identity. To say that the retail space of the new venue vastly exceeds that of the former would be an understatement as vast as the Western horizon. Suffice it to say the new The Bony Pony is more like a Studly Stallion.

I’m thinking there’s some cowboy boots and a pearl snap western shirt in this tinhorn’s future, pard.